my sister with fur

Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed with just how much we have to learn in this life. Never mind the fact that we learn the basics before we learn how to remember anything at all (I for one do not recall saying my first word, or taking my first step) But we spend our entire lives learning over and over where we came from, where we are going, who we are, and who we want to be. We gain this knowledge in all different ways; we make mistakes to learn our lessons, we succeed so that we know what to repeat, and most importantly we are shown in sometimes very small ways how to be better people. And sometimes, very rarely, these lessons come from someone in your life who walks on all fours.

Nani came to us the summer of 2000. We had never had a family pet (aside from my chameleon who died of anorexia- RIP JOHN!), and had agreed on a vacation in Maui that we wanted Nani to become a Lewis. We decided on her name which means "beautiful guardian" in Hawaiian and picked her up shortly after we returned to Virginia. And as she grew from 6lbs to 90lbs, she became a member of our family. She was with us through out our teenage years, and as chaotic as it can be to have 3 teenagers in one house, Nani was hands down the mellow presence we so desperately needed. She never jumped, rarely barked, didn't chew on anything that didn't belong to her, didn't beg for food that wasn't hers and her greeting was always a polite kiss and sniff. When other dogs would visit and would act crazy long after their owner told them to "STOP!" Nani would just stare at them as if to say "What is WRONG with you?"

She would nudge her bowl outside and dine al fresco because we Lewis' are a classy breed. She would watch TV with her little paws crossed and every so often look behind her to make sure we were all still there. When asked "Who's the prettiest girl in the world?" Nani would shake her butt and wag her tail as if to say "It's me! It's me!" Above everything else Nani was kind. She could easily knock someone over, or bite, or destroy everything in the house , but she didn't. All she wanted in her 10 year life was to give love. And thankfully we were the family to receive it.

I hope Nani is able to know just how much she will be missed. And if there is a doggy heaven, I know that she is looking down, with her little paws crossed, missing us just as much.

beyond love.

If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night – amidst your happpiest scenes and gloomiest hours – always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. - Major Sullivan Ballou, 1861

LOVERS

I am not a huge fan of Valentine's Day, not for any other reason then when I have been one half of a couple, we spend February 14th much like any other day of the year, as it should be any other day of the year. Men should buy women flowers just because, and favorite desserts should be made just because they are favorite desserts. You should be willing to make grand, over the top gestures to declare your love every single day. And if you consider small doings to be annoying, or don't value the importance of "just because" then it is my most humble opinion that you should be single.

I don't get caught up in the 14th when I'm with someone and when I am single I don't pull the "I have nobody, I'm all alone" mostly because I'm not. I have four very best friends who are my Valentines all year. They send me little cards, they never forget a special day, and they have seen me at my absolute worst and still love me. We even end each phone call with an (often simultaneous) "LOVE YOU!"  We are rarely with in arms distance of each other, but when we are lucky enough to be together, we treat ourselves to wonderful dinners, lots of wine, and gifts for ourselves. It is, to say, the most successful long distance relationship I have ever had.

And this year, while I am fortunate to have someone wonderful in my life, I am THE MOST fortunate because he understands my relationship with these four women. He is respectful, and appreciates that when my cell phone rings, the television has to go on pause (even if it's the Olympics). He knows when I say "ok 5 minutes" that means the phone call will probably last 25. He is used to me referencing emails he was never sent, and memories he's not a part of. He loves these women not because he has met them, or grown to love who they are; he loves them because I do. And that is one of the many, many, many reasons I love him.

meredith grey is my homegirl

"Maybe we aren't supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes to simply be human. Maybe we are thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we are thankful for the things we will never know. At the end of the day the fact that we still have courage to keep standing is reason enough to celebrate. "
-grey's anatomy, season 2

true love

with all the money in the world it would have been quite easy for john kennedy jr. & carolyn bessette to make their wedding an extravagant affair. instead, they chose the most intimate setting possible to promise their lives to each other. in my opinion, it doesn't get any more romantic than that.

good evening

i've never been a fan of romantic comedies, and not surprisingly i tend to read books and watch movies that prove things have a better chance of falling apart, than they do working out.

this afternoon i watched "evening;" a film that reflects on a dying woman's great love. it was superb in every way possible and while i hate to give credit to life ruiners, claire danes is a lovely actress.

"your mother had her whole life. she sang at my wedding, she raised her two girls; we can't know everything she did. we are mysterious creatures, aren't we?"