c.e.o.

i spent over an hour and a half on the phone with my person. if we had a cheese pizza from l'italia it would have been the perfect date<3

quote of the night:

"she has really great boobs." - me
"dumb bitch." - christine

bliss

jenny cho and i spend countless hours trying to pinpoint the few times in our lives that we have been truly, blissfully, 100% happy. points in time that if the world were to stop we would be happy in that moment forever. i can tell you this much, today ain't one of them. so instead of bitching about being exhausted, over worked, and seasonally depressed i'm going to reflect on a few of the good times i have been blessed with.

1. block island. living in a run down hotel, ironically named "the overlook," with 100 people under the age of 25 from all over the world? YES PLEASE. horrible decisions were made and quickly forgotten, some of us got fired and threw our work shirts on the roof, others chose to fall off balconies/docks, while the majority of us chose to take irish car bombs 30 seconds before all staff meetings. and somewhere in all of this insanity, i was perfectly at peace with life.
2. hilton head. my job consisted of arts and crafts, grain alcohol cocktails, and watching my boss push children into swimming pools. and after that? we relaxed.
3. the inferno 2007. three years, two arrests, countless emails requesting my presence in standards, followed by numerous empty threats of de-pinning, came to an appropriate end. amid the smoke and flames, i was able to see that yes, perpetual bonds of sisterhood were made and i will forever smile fondly on those three triangles.
4. europe. food was inhaled, voices were raised, camels were rode, karaoke was sang, money was spent/wasted, cats handled turbulence surprisingly well, balls were placed on the back of necks (marissa's) and somewhere between all that, we saw europe. this trip was a remarkable way to end the best four years of my life.
5. the summer before 10th grade or what i affectionately refer to as "the last sober summer"
6. my 22nd birthday trip to baltimore
7. camping trip 2002 parts 1&2, yarbough (both the cul-de-sac and the boat), amoco gas station, the minter's basement; say what i will about fredericksburg but i was able to grow up surrounded by the same faces year after year and for that, i am incredibly lucky

“drink wine…this is life eternal;
this is all that youth will give you.
it is the season for wine, roses and drunken friends.
be happy for this moment; this moment is your life….” - Omar Khayyam

she looks like...

a piece of bacon wearing a bikini.
by jenni ritz
fall 2008
all rights reserved

goodbye, my friend

I guess all good things do have to come to an end. So with that I've come up with a list of things to thank Highlawn for; the good, the bad, the fannypacks.

Thank you for:
1. Not letting 21 year old Christine O'Brien enter with a valid ID, but accepting her 18 year old sister with a fake.
2. For allowing a certain SK to not leave much to the imagination while dancing on stage to "Crazy Bitch." JMU might be 60% female, but that night 100% of us were lesbians
3. For serving two pitchers per person but having tile floors. So essentially providing an adult version of a slip and slide.
4. For having rude bartenders
5. For having the "corner booth"
6. For serving one person (Josh Jones) 10 drinks at a time; one with a roofie
7. For giving us a North Face fleece
8. For letting 2 girls dressed as Jesus think it was a good idea to smuggle in a bottle of liquor under their robes, and then hide it behind the bar, and then proceed to drink straight from the bottle while standing behind the bar.
9. For not having a dress code. I don't know about where you live, but here in Chicago a bar MIGHT consider 20 screaming Tri Deltas carrying swords, bad for business.
10. For attempting to have a VIP section that was accessible to anyone who:
a. had a wristband
b. knew someone who had a wristband or
c. could say the words "it is my birthday"
11. For making it so we had to arrive by 7:30pm or we were considered "late." Which goes along nicely with...
12. For being the only bar I've ever gone to on a regular basis but never heard a "last call."
13. For giving a certain girl with many many nicknames the opportunity to pull out a crisp $20 bill from her Gucci fannypack and cut the line.
and last
14. For being so understaffed yet so willing to over serve that the text message "I am where the black man sells drinks" was possible.

I'll see you in another life Highlawn...

madison, james madison

the friendliest city of them all

PLEASE quit your day job!

Art done by Jenni Ritz. Work titled "Bacon Wearing Bikini" coming soon. All rights reserved.

Rosacea

Apparently 45 million people in the world suffer from rosacea. I know .5 of these people. But don't worry you're in good company! According to Wikipedia other people who share this fate are:
1. Bill Clinton (Remember when he had an affair with a 21 year old?)
2. Mariah Carey (Remember when she sold ice cream cones on TRL?)
3. Rosie O'Donnell (Remember when she "loved" Tom Cruise?)

kathryn mary collinson

Here are the top 10 reasons why I love Kathryn Mary Collinson...and you should too.

10. She is the Michael Phelps of High School Superlatives.
9. She emailed all of Tri Delta during recruitment and referred to the collective whole as "bias."
8. She alone has introduced the glory that is "gluten-free" cake.
7. She shares the some parental units as Dennis Collinson
6. In the words of Ashley Sansing, "She popped out of patty's womb w/ a six pack and biceps."
5. She might be this blog's #1 fan
4. Just call her Coco
3. She is really, really pretty.
2. Her father has been on the receiving end of our email chain, and still accepts us as part of her life.
1. She could, and probably should, kick your ass.


love you bia.

reply-all emails

whoever included the "reply-all" option on emails needs a very deserving
T-H-A-N-K Y-O-U.

the emails that are shared between chicago, new york city, and washington, d.c. are consistently entertaining and a very cheap form of therapy.

as long as we follow the rules:
1. NO politics
2. NO religion
3. NO discussing boyfriends who have opinions on nail polish

and with that, here's to world war 3.