Friday, November 28, 2008

Uncomfortable Silences

I am at work today. Shocking, I know. The homeless are still homeless, even the day after Thanksgiving. Aside from watching with disgust as a 10 year old dragged the largest bag I've ever seen down Michigan Avenue (the bag was from the Disney Story and to be totally honest I didn't even know that shit was still open) I have enjoyed a rather quiet morning. With nobody to talk to on gchat (Melissa left me for the gym, Chey needed to watch last night's episode of Greys) and no updates to, I have decided to dedicate the rest of the morning reading up on my favorite religion and yours, SCIENTOLOGY.

I am a (not so devout) Catholic, and have absolutely no desire to convert to anything else. But it's something about that Scientology that really gets me going. Not enough to jump on a couch, or scream "I'M IN LOVE" at the top of my lungs, or really exert any kind of physical energy whatsoever. That's a lie. I did break out into a short sprint with Josh Jones at my heels when we came across the Scientology Center in Hollywood.

Well the truth is, I got about three websites into my extensive search, found a picture of John Travolta, which made me automatically think about Pulp Fiction, which reminded me that I bought someone Pulp Fiction as a gift and then requested it back when that someone decided I was no longer his cup of tea. Now I usually don't believe in Indian giving (probably not the politically correct term) and apparently neither does he because I never got it back. So I Xed out of it all and ordered my third favorite movie as a Black Friday gift to myself.

"That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence. " - Uma Thurman, Pulp Fiction

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

kathryn mary collinson

Here are the top 10 reasons why I love Kathryn Mary Collinson...and you should too.

10. She is the Michael Phelps of High School Superlatives.
9. She emailed all of Tri Delta during recruitment and referred to the collective whole as "bias."
8. She alone has introduced the glory that is "gluten-free" cake.
7. She shares the some parental units as Dennis Collinson
6. In the words of Ashley Sansing, "She popped out of patty's womb w/ a six pack and biceps."
5. She might be this blog's #1 fan
4. Just call her Coco
3. She is really, really pretty.
2. Her father has been on the receiving end of our email chain, and still accepts us as part of her life.
1. She could, and probably should, kick your ass.

love you bia.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

just call me perez..

Fact: I love celebrity gossip
Fact: Anything that has to do with Madonna makes me want to slap Suri Cruise.

If you know anything about me and my love for Suri Cruise you will understand how much I despise Madonna. And here's why:

  1. She sucks at singing, and correct me if I am wrong, but isn't that why she's famous in the first place?
  2. Celebrities talk about politics. I understand that they have just as much right as anyone to express their views. Just because they don't have real jobs or live in the real world, or have anything worthwhile to say doesn't mean they don't have the right to still say whatever they want. But Madonna, SHUT THE F UP. Your opinion lost it's credibility 25 years ago when you were dry humping the stage at the VMA's.
  3. You often speak in a British accent, you are from Detroit, MI.
  4. I blame you for Britney's downfall.
  5. You aren't even a good dancer. You just sort of sway your hips, drop to the floor, and repeat.
  6. I believe the photo speaks for itself.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


today, a resident walked up to my window and instead of waving, decided to say hello by sneezing all over it.

um, god bless you?