Thursday, May 30, 2013

dat's my man

this afternoon, this guy is officially done with his first full year of implementing the city year service model in 5 brand new schools, with 50 corps members, and a completely new program staff.

i'm so proud of you. 
i love you so. 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

star wars

i have been laughing about this picture for a solid 24 hours.

love you patricio. 
or should i say, darth? 

Monday, May 20, 2013

what about what?

when my dad was visiting this weekend, we were watching kanye west perform on snl, and i was pleasantly surprised to see him bob his head and then exclaim "man, this guy is a TALENT!" if you know anything about me and pat, you know our shared love for kanye. so i casually said "oh yeah! he's great dad! and he's kim kardashian's baby daddy." 

my dad shuddered. literally. i thought he was going to make a comment about the term "baby daddy" but instead he said, "there are a few things in my lifetime that i really wish never happened. the kardashians are one of them." 

my dad was born in 1950. think of everything that has happened in those 63 years. to name a few:

kennedy's assassination
the civil rights movement
the munich massacre
the iran-contra affair

i couldn't stop laughing, and then finally asked "what about bennifer dad? do you wish that never happened?" his response: "what about what?" 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

the capital t truth.

the capital t truth is about life before death. it is about the real value of a real education which has almost nothing to do with knowledge. and everything to do with simple awareness. awareness of what is so real and essential. so hidden in plain sight all around us all the time. that we have to keep reminding ourselves. over and over. this is water. this. is. water. 

every so often, when i feel enormously overwhelmed, i read david foster wallace's this is water. 

Monday, May 13, 2013

registering to build a home.

it's a funny thing living together before you're married. you have to merge all your things, and pending how long you have been out of college, or lived on your own you sometimes realize "wow, this guy who i want to build a life with, well he has enough stuff for 6 apartments." my patrick - he's the bees knees. the salt of the earth. the best match/partner/mate i could have asked for. but he likes stuff. you name it and he probably had it. old receipts? he had thousands! pillows that his head has rested on since 2004?  yup! coasters? we could have lined the earth with the number of coasters this man had in his possession. it. was. crazy. i felt like i might be the first woman who "snapped" not because he cheated, but because he wouldn't throw away bowling shoes he had from a class he took his junior year of college.

and me? i am the opposite. i have been very slow to build a home with patrick, buying this here, and then that 6 months later. i have catholic guilt and parents who instilled the fear of credit card debt upon me and my brothers. as a result, our kitchen....well it's been woefully neglected in this rather slow process.

which is why i was so excited to register! we decided on two stores, macy's because it carried our china and crate and barrel because we both love it. i created a spreadsheet of every single item, item number, price, and quantity of what we wanted. it made me feel very type a but made for a flawless four hours and i highly recommend it to all you brides to be.

five months to go...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

it's a process.

the cutest

i've shared a lot about planning our wedding. about my excitement to marry the love of my life, to finally be a wife, to add a fourth name to my current three.

but i've been frustrated. and wanted to elope. i've had outbursts. i haven't picked my battles. i've cried over choosing the wrong thing and sometimes about choosing the right thing. i've gotten sick to my stomach about the cost of things. and stressed out about everything from the possibility of a hurricane, to the possibility of me falling down as my dad gave me away, to the possibility of our venue burning down.

i have been worrying for as long as i can remember. and why i thought this would be any different is beyond me. 

but then i realized, i could just start saying "no." no to cake. no to a $500 comb in my hair that i didn't even like, but was convinced i "needed." no to high heels. no to everything that i had to think twice about.

and say yes to the little things. the things that might not be for everyone, but are right for us.

yes to taking everything one minute at a time.

 i enjoyed every single second of being pat's girlfriend. even that one time he pissed me off SO MUCH that i left the bar and ran away from him. literally. or the 45 minute el ride from chinatown to southport where we sat in silence, and at the last second i jumped off the train and got into another car. at the time my rage was like the fire of a thousand burning suns. but now, we laugh. it's a part of our story. the bad parts are just as precious to me as the good.

so gosh darn it, i am going to enjoy every single second of being his fiance. and hope that in 50 years, we will laugh over the fact that i seriously asked "can a wedding dress make you feel TOO much like a kennedy?" 

Friday, May 3, 2013

i'll never be gwyneth paltrow

well i'm not 6 feet tall and i don't weigh 100 pounds. i love europe, but i'll be damned if i ever fake a british accent.  and while i enjoy eating healthy, delicious food - i don't have the luxury of being able to spend $200 on every homemade meal.

gwyneth paltrow and i, well, we both love chris martin...and that's about it. BUT i read an article that she just did for iron man 3 (anyone going to see it? i love that tony stark) and she talks about her marriage and advice she received from her dad. she asked him, "how did you and mom stay married for 33 years?" he said, "well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time." and that might be the most real thing i've ever heard her say.

i love you patrick. thanks for never letting me break up with you. even if it meant standing in front of my car, with a goose island 312 in your hand, refusing to let me drive away, in 0 degree weather. bees knees, you are.