Friday, January 30, 2009


jenny cho and i spend countless hours trying to pinpoint the few times in our lives that we have been truly, blissfully, 100% happy. points in time that if the world were to stop we would be happy in that moment forever. i can tell you this much, today ain't one of them. so instead of bitching about being exhausted, over worked, and seasonally depressed i'm going to reflect on a few of the good times i have been blessed with.

1. block island. living in a run down hotel, ironically named "the overlook," with 100 people under the age of 25 from all over the world? YES PLEASE. horrible decisions were made and quickly forgotten, some of us got fired and threw our work shirts on the roof, others chose to fall off balconies/docks, while the majority of us chose to take irish car bombs 30 seconds before all staff meetings. and somewhere in all of this insanity, i was perfectly at peace with life.
2. hilton head. my job consisted of arts and crafts, grain alcohol cocktails, and watching my boss push children into swimming pools. and after that? we relaxed.
3. the inferno 2007. three years, two arrests, countless emails requesting my presence in standards, followed by numerous empty threats of de-pinning, came to an appropriate end. amid the smoke and flames, i was able to see that yes, perpetual bonds of sisterhood were made and i will forever smile fondly on those three triangles.
4. europe. food was inhaled, voices were raised, camels were rode, karaoke was sang, money was spent/wasted, cats handled turbulence surprisingly well, balls were placed on the back of necks (marissa's) and somewhere between all that, we saw europe. this trip was a remarkable way to end the best four years of my life.
5. the summer before 10th grade or what i affectionately refer to as "the last sober summer"
6. my 22nd birthday trip to baltimore
7. camping trip 2002 parts 1&2, yarbough (both the cul-de-sac and the boat), amoco gas station, the minter's basement; say what i will about fredericksburg but i was able to grow up surrounded by the same faces year after year and for that, i am incredibly lucky

“drink wine…this is life eternal;
this is all that youth will give you.
it is the season for wine, roses and drunken friends.
be happy for this moment; this moment is your life….” - Omar Khayyam

Thursday, January 29, 2009

gimme a berger

i am now the proud of owner of the entire series of sex and the city. while i am sure there will be at least another post laying out my favorite parts of the show, here is one of the scenes that makes me fall in love with carrie.

carrie: i assure you, i would have been very understanding
andrew: yea right
carrie: excuse me?
andrew: you all say that, but then you just freak. and get all psycho bitch.
carrie: really? so now it's all our fault?
billy: all we're saying is that there really is no good way to break up with someone is there?
carrie: well it's funny you should mention that billy. because actually there is. you can have the guts and the courtesy to tell a woman to her face that you no longer want to see her. call me crazy but i think that you can make a point of ending your relationship in a manner that does not include an email, a doorman, or missing person's report. i think that you can ALL get over your fear of looking like the bad guy and actually have the "uncomfortable break-up conversation" because here's what! avoiding that, is what makes you the bad guy. and just so you know allen...
andrew: uhhh andr-
carrie: uh huh! most women aren't angry irrational psychos. we just want an ending to a relationship that is thoughtful and decent and honors what we had together. and my point billy is this. there is a good way to break up with someone and it doesn't. include. a post-it!

and this is why when i am president of the united states, sex and the city will be shown in all sex ed classes. right after the condom/banana day .

Saturday, January 24, 2009

she looks like...

a piece of bacon wearing a bikini.
by jenni ritz
fall 2008
all rights reserved

Thursday, January 22, 2009

oscar who?

Two posts in one day, first time for everything I suppose.

But this is necessary. Desperate times call for desperate measures.


The book was incredible, Kate was better. And Angelina Jolie can go F herself.

"You know what's so good about the truth? Everyone knows what it is, however long they've lived without it. No one forgets the truth, they just get better at lying."

goodbye, my friend

I guess all good things do have to come to an end. So with that I've come up with a list of things to thank Highlawn for; the good, the bad, the fannypacks.

Thank you for:
1. Not letting 21 year old Christine O'Brien enter with a valid ID, but accepting her 18 year old sister with a fake.
2. For allowing a certain SK to not leave much to the imagination while dancing on stage to "Crazy Bitch." JMU might be 60% female, but that night 100% of us were lesbians
3. For serving two pitchers per person but having tile floors. So essentially providing an adult version of a slip and slide.
4. For having rude bartenders
5. For having the "corner booth"
6. For serving one person (Josh Jones) 10 drinks at a time; one with a roofie
7. For giving us a North Face fleece
8. For letting 2 girls dressed as Jesus think it was a good idea to smuggle in a bottle of liquor under their robes, and then hide it behind the bar, and then proceed to drink straight from the bottle while standing behind the bar.
9. For not having a dress code. I don't know about where you live, but here in Chicago a bar MIGHT consider 20 screaming Tri Deltas carrying swords, bad for business.
10. For attempting to have a VIP section that was accessible to anyone who:
a. had a wristband
b. knew someone who had a wristband or
c. could say the words "it is my birthday"
11. For making it so we had to arrive by 7:30pm or we were considered "late." Which goes along nicely with...
12. For being the only bar I've ever gone to on a regular basis but never heard a "last call."
13. For giving a certain girl with many many nicknames the opportunity to pull out a crisp $20 bill from her Gucci fannypack and cut the line.
and last
14. For being so understaffed yet so willing to over serve that the text message "I am where the black man sells drinks" was possible.

I'll see you in another life Highlawn...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


if you know me at all you know how extremely emotional i have been the past few days. i was just so excited, i literally had butterflies in my stomach all week. i couldn't believe that the countdown was almost over. greatness had arrived. some of my biggest questions would be answered, my fears put to rest. my life had been on hold for months, and now, now i could start living again.

and plus, now that obama is in office apparently we won't have to pay for anything anymore. gimme dat piece of the pie.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

seven layer

no i'm not talking about the dip. although how delicious does it look!??!

i am referring to how many articles of clothing i wore to work this morning. SEVEN. it's a sad life i lead where i must put on clothes, and then put on some more, and then some more, and then some more, and then some more, and then some more, and then put on a coat.

Friday, January 9, 2009


now that i'm 24 i am old enough to:

1. hold a conversation and use the term "well 10 years ago..." and actually be able to remember 10 years ago.
2. live where ever i want. once i move back in with ross and eileen, i will have time to sit down and think "where to next?" will i backpack? go back to school in a new city? settle down in d.c.? kick it for a while in the 540? you're guess is as good as mine.
3. spend money on nice clothes and justify it with "it's for work."
4. get a dog. no i can't afford one. but yes, at this point i want one more than i want children.
5. consume alcohol. yes it's been three years since i turned 21, and yes, i am still in love with the fact that i can buy beer with my groceries.
6. go to germany with two of my absolute faaaaaavorite people in the whole wide world for Oktoberfest 2009 purely because i want to. i have a funny feeling the phrase, "remember when we went to germany..." will be repeated for years to come.
7. have old friends; and i mean friends "who knew you when you had braces and got peter kotowski suspended for calling you a bitch..." or "who remember when you went to north carolina and forgot to tell your parents you'd be gone for 3 days." if those people are still around, chances are fantastic they are yours for life.
8. know what kind of wine i like, and what kind i don't. and no, deciding on what color of mad dog i preferred does not count.

and even though i am 24 i am young enough to:

1. still be idealistic
2. pick my life up at the drop of the hat and convince myself that "settling down" is the gravest fate of them all...
3. spend money irresponsibely
4. not be able to commit to anything. a dog, a boy, a perfume..
5. get kicked out of bars.
6. travel when i don't have the money to
7. gossip, endlessly
8. drink mad dog. haha kidding, but not reeeeeeeeeeeally......

Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Wire

As many of you know, I become easily obsessed. With what you may ask? EVERYTHING. I am the girl who saw Titanic 16 times in the theater, obsessively read everything that even mentioned the 2008 election, watched Olympic coverage 18 hours a day, skipped school to get tickets to Dave Matthews....twice. And it may be physically impossible for me to run a marathon, but if you've ever shared living quarters with me you know my endurance comes in front of a television screen. Sex and the City? done in a week. LOST? ha! two days. The Office? child's play. Have I changed post-college? NOPE

The latest thing to provide me hours of entertainment is HBO's "The Wire." With incredible ease, complex story lines, and amazing characters, the show takes a detailed look into things about our cities that go ignored; the business of drugs, political corruption, the failing public school system, a biased media. Violence breeds violence, greed breeds greed, and the so the game goes.

I don't think this show would have been as appealing to me if it did not mirror the lives of the children I spent last year with, and the neighborhood I currently work in. Do I think that everyone should quit their job and work in the inner-city? Well yea, kind of. But more importantly I think that you should watch this show, even one episode and realize that this exists. In our country. Right now. While you are working behind a desk, there are good people just trying to get by. And their work isn't done in an office, it's done on the corner. And the politicians you trust, feed off the poor. And test scores, not children, are what matter. And the media twists it all.

And if that doesn't hook you, Officer McNulty is really really hot.

madison, james madison

the friendliest city of them all

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


i am sharing a list of a few of my favorite things in the whole wide world.

1. anything monogrammed. stationary, bags, towels, napkins. you name it, it should prob have your initials on it.
2. europe. see you in september 2009.
3. the constitution. read it, it was written for you.
4. bob dylan. listen to him.
5. penguins. is there anything cuter?
6. andy warhol. his work, his life, his words; pure genius.
7. uggs. don't knock them if you've never lived above the mason-dixon line.
8. fountain diet coke. heaven in carbonated form.
9. public transportation. do your part, take the bus.
10. the style books. michelle obama is a girl playing dress up next to diana, audrey, and jackie.
and last,
11. chicago. i fell in love with 40 children, learned to live off of $800 a month, fulfilled my dream of seeing oprah, and gave michael phelps a high five. do i regret my decision to move to a city totally and completely alone? not for one single second.