Tuesday, December 9, 2008

PLEASE quit your day job!

Art done by Jenni Ritz. Work titled "Bacon Wearing Bikini" coming soon. All rights reserved.

Friday, December 5, 2008


Apparently 45 million people in the world suffer from rosacea. I know .5 of these people. But don't worry you're in good company! According to Wikipedia other people who share this fate are:
1. Bill Clinton (Remember when he had an affair with a 21 year old?)
2. Mariah Carey (Remember when she sold ice cream cones on TRL?)
3. Rosie O'Donnell (Remember when she "loved" Tom Cruise?)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I said brr, it's cold in here.

I wake up at 6am. I make coffee. I shower. I turn on the morning news. I blow dry my hair as I watch the morning weather report. A month ago, I had to swallow the hard reality that summer was over. But this week, this week I am distraught. 22 DEGREES ON THE LAKE BUT IT FEELS LIKE 8? Do you have any idea how cold that is? The cold hits your bones as soon as you are outside and just stays there, it's hard to do anything besides think about how cold you are.

My car is currently sitting in my parents driveway, 12 hours away. And Chicago is not like New York where it’s impossible to have a car. It’s very possible to have a car but considering last year I could barely afford to buy groceries, having a car was a luxury I could not afford. And this year, I’ve decided to do my part in saving the planet, “going green,” blah blah blah.. If you want a truth that's inconvenient, it's not having a fucking car. After a 20 minute bus ride downtown, it’s another 20 minutes on the train, until I get to walk for 15 minutes in a neighborhood that doesn’t consider shoveling the sidewalks a high priority. Smashing 40s in the middle of the street? Now that's a different story.

So on mornings like today, as I'm ice skating to work, I thank God for Uggs. And then I thank Al Gore for inventing global warming. (and the internet, but I'll get to that later.)