I'm blessed that I have found someone who will love me for the rest of my life. When I look into Patrick's eyes I see our future and the hopes and the dreams we have whispered about, far past our bedtime. I sit back and feel extremely lucky.
And then I realize what it took to get here. I was broken. I believed in the bottom of my heart that I would never love again. Because i was fortunate enough to truly love someone at a young age, i had convinced myself that was it, and that no love would ever compare. And then I realize that this kind of love isn't something that should be hoarded. I am proud that I loved someone else endlessly and I am grateful that while I have nothing left in common with that person, we were so young and so full of hope, that we thought it would work out. that we could will it to work. my heartbreak of that failure to make it work, is something that has made me my 26 year old self. because as bitterly as it ended, i forgive him, and i forgive myself. and there are not enough words to express my gratitude for having gone through that. I survived it; and I have since been able to create a romantic future with someone else.
While I felt at the time that my heart was being broken in half, I realize that it was actually doubling in size, making room to hold the first man who loved me, and the only man who I would ever need.
"sometimes it lasts in love, sometimes it hurts instead."