my sister with fur

Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed with just how much we have to learn in this life. Never mind the fact that we learn the basics before we learn how to remember anything at all (I for one do not recall saying my first word, or taking my first step) But we spend our entire lives learning over and over where we came from, where we are going, who we are, and who we want to be. We gain this knowledge in all different ways; we make mistakes to learn our lessons, we succeed so that we know what to repeat, and most importantly we are shown in sometimes very small ways how to be better people. And sometimes, very rarely, these lessons come from someone in your life who walks on all fours.

Nani came to us the summer of 2000. We had never had a family pet (aside from my chameleon who died of anorexia- RIP JOHN!), and had agreed on a vacation in Maui that we wanted Nani to become a Lewis. We decided on her name which means "beautiful guardian" in Hawaiian and picked her up shortly after we returned to Virginia. And as she grew from 6lbs to 90lbs, she became a member of our family. She was with us through out our teenage years, and as chaotic as it can be to have 3 teenagers in one house, Nani was hands down the mellow presence we so desperately needed. She never jumped, rarely barked, didn't chew on anything that didn't belong to her, didn't beg for food that wasn't hers and her greeting was always a polite kiss and sniff. When other dogs would visit and would act crazy long after their owner told them to "STOP!" Nani would just stare at them as if to say "What is WRONG with you?"

She would nudge her bowl outside and dine al fresco because we Lewis' are a classy breed. She would watch TV with her little paws crossed and every so often look behind her to make sure we were all still there. When asked "Who's the prettiest girl in the world?" Nani would shake her butt and wag her tail as if to say "It's me! It's me!" Above everything else Nani was kind. She could easily knock someone over, or bite, or destroy everything in the house , but she didn't. All she wanted in her 10 year life was to give love. And thankfully we were the family to receive it.

I hope Nani is able to know just how much she will be missed. And if there is a doggy heaven, I know that she is looking down, with her little paws crossed, missing us just as much.

crazy heart

& this may be one of the most beautiful songs i've ever heard.

"your body aches…
playing your guitar and sweating out the hate
the days and the nights all feel the same
whiskey has been a thorn in your side
and it doesn’t forget
the highway that calls for your heart inside
and this ain’t no place for the weary kind
and this ain’t no place to lose your mind
and this ain’t no place to fall behind
pick up your crazy heart and give it one more try."

couldn't live without

The older I get, the more I realize that I always have to have a few things. Whether in my purse, my fridge, or my car I have to have these things within an arms reach. And here they are:

1. Anti-bacterial wipes. I have them in my car, in my office, under my bathroom sink, and in my kitchen. I love a nice clean surface wherever I am. 
2. Sunglasses. I blame it on the summer I lived on Hilton Head Island but I can not be without my sunnies. I have a pair in my car, in my purse, and on my face. Big ones, throwbacks from the 90s (love those Blublockers), expensive ones, and ones I don't care if I ever see again. My eyes will thank me when I'm 50.
3. Nivea hand cream. If you live in Chicago and don't have dry hands 7 months out of the year, you probably have oil in your veins instead of blood.
4. Bobby pins can be found in my pockets, in my desk drawer, in my center console, in a jewelery box on my dresser, and more than likely 10 are in my hair. Curls are never the same length, it's a curse.
5. Nalgene full of ice cold water. I drink approximately a gallon a day, and it's entirely because I love being refreshed but the health benefits are nice too. And btw, that nalgene has a Tri Delta sticker and is from the Salty Dog Cafe. Represent.

el fin de LOST

If you and I have had at least a 10 minute conversation you know a few things about me. You know that I laugh really loud. You know that I have no control over my facial expressions. You can tell that I do not live in the city to which I was born. And you know that I really really really love television. It can be argued that I become too involved in the shows that I enjoy; but I will only admit that is true when it comes to LOST. From the second I saw the first episode I was a fan. I realized that all the hoop-la surrounding LOST was because it is in a word, awesome.  I remember leaving alumni weekend to finish watching season 1. I would be at Highlawn, 2 pitchers into the night, squaring off with someone who "swore" the numbers had to do with the coordinates of the island. I would pay close attention in my Philosophy classes when the names "Hume," "Locke," or "Rousseau" were used. When moving to Chicago one of the first questions I would ask a potential friend would be "You watch LOST?" After going on my first date with Pat, I remember thinking "But he doesn't watch LOST...."


And so after 6 season, I bid farewell to a television show that really asked the question, "How much faith do you have?" And while I don't know if I would necessarily sign up to protect a light that kept the world spinning, or what my reaction would be if I saw a cloud of black smoke kill people.  I haven't quite figured out if we live by our own free will, or if our destinies have been decided for us. But I do thank the creators of LOST for giving us all a little something more to believe in.

"why do you find it so hard to believe?" -  locke
"why do you find it so easy?" - jack
"IT'S NEVER BEEN EASY." - locke

my gift is my song, and this one's for you.

i don't get many things right the first time
in fact, i am told that a lot
now i know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls, brought me here
and where was i before the day that i first saw your lovely face?
now i see it everyday, and i know, that i am..
i am, i am the luckiest

what if i'd been born fifty years before you, in a house on a street where you lived?
maybe i'd be outside as you passed on your bike, would i know?
and in a white sea of eyes, i see one pair that i recognize
and i know that i am
i am, i am the luckiest.
i love you more than i have ever found a way to say to you
and i know that i am
i am, i am the luckiest.

- ben folds